All that I can remember till now is when my eldest uncle from my father's family visited us one day and said this " Nak jadi anak-anak kau ni Lah. Boleh jadi orang ke kalau bergelumang lumpur dengan kerbau macam ni? Apa nak jadi dengan anak-anak kau ni esok Lah" or in other words that I can describe and understand that time, I won't have any good future with the way I live and the way my childhood life was in a small village many many years ago. I remember seeing my father swallowed that words from his own blood with no anger or emotion shown is his face. He just continued asking me and my brother to ensure all our buffalo were trailing on the right way home. That was one of very few visits by my uncle to our place. I cannot remember whether that day he stopped and had a drink at my house or not because he always did not. Normally he just left my father driving his car to my grandma's house in the nearby village.
I just don't now why that moment touched my mind so much after that. I keep thinking whether I'm destined to be in that village till the end of my life by doing whatever necessary to earn me something to live. Would that be enough for me and is there any true according to what my uncle said. My father also had never said anything about it. Either to deny it or to argue with my uncle whenever my uncle said such thing.
Other than that, all I know is my life was so enjoyable that time. My brother and me have been a good buddy to each other although I was always under his command. I never seen mud is dirty or and never buffalo, cow and goat are stink. They were more like friends to me sometime with the amount of time that I spent with them. Confined with that world where I always being occupied with my daily routine, I have never thought of having better life other than that time because life was filled with so much fun to me.
Every morning from Monday to Friday I woke up...take a bath with very cold water from the well dug by father. Then walked to school located about 5km from my house when the path was not even fully visible yet. My breakfast normally was cup of coffee and plain rice mixed with scramble egg. Sometime my mom fried some banana of anything that was easily planted surrounding the house. My father left for work already when me and I started my journey to the school.
When I reached my class, normally very few have arrived. Slowly the environment becomes noisy when more students coming. I can see others sent by their parent to school and some of them also walking like I did. Some sent by motorbike or kapcai mostly and very few sent by car. I did not bother so much about that because there were so many things that I enjoyed so much at school for my primary level. All I felt that time; I enjoyed learning new things everyday in the class.
My teachers often asked me about my ambitions. What I’m going to be in the future and to be honest I never like that questions. How am suppose to know what I'm going to be. They are the one who should tell me because the are my teachers. From there I heard my friends answered my thing such as doctor. I also heard they mentioned lawyer, architect, engineers and etc but all that sound so alien to me since I did not have a idea about them at all. I was more touched when they mentioned doctor because I was always treated by them, soldier because many of my relatives joined the army and surely policeman, fireman and etc because I've been seen them at work. At that time I did not even know exactly what was my father's job because I just knew that he worked in a rubber processing factory....
My uncle's words just could not disappear from my mind but I did not know why it really annoyed me especially my father never had never shown his reaction to it. What I knew since I understood people's conversation, the way my uncle talked about me and my siblings remained the same. I understood that when he never really talked to us like he talked to my cousins. What really pissed me off was when he gave the duit raya, we always given less by him and sometime. None as compared to my cousins who lived with their family at my grandma's house.
I heard he said once that all of my siblings would end up jaga lembu dan kerbau in the village later.
As I grew up, that words sound harsher to me as I become more understand about life and have started to feel annoyed by that. At one point my uncle even make jokes that my father don't have to send his children to school if he could not afford because it would not make any difference. He added my father don't have to work so hard just to see his children living in the village in the end. He always said my cousins surely will be someone one day and that was why he gave them more attention.
I was so puzzled why my father never responded to my uncle. He just kept saying to us " korang semua kalau nak senang, belajarlah rajin-rajin. Jangan dah besar nanti kena kerja susah-susah macam ayah". I knew why he said susah-susah like him. I saw him woke up very early in the morning and most of the time, when he came back, only my mom waited for him because all of us slept already. When I asked my mom what time my father came back, the answer normally around 2-3 a.m in the morning. I keep wondering how many hours he really slept everyday that time. He left home about 5 almost 7 days a week and I never heard him mentioned the word tired in front of us.
I was also wondering why my uncle always saying those words towards my family especially my father when I also never see him help us. On top of that I never knew that my father has ever asked any help from him either.
My life goes on and I enjoyed very much most of it. After school hours I always rushed back home. If I were lucky that day, someone would give me a lift and dropped me at the bridge to enter my village named Kampong Agam. Then I'll walk straight eagerly because there were so much more tasks awaited me after that.
Other than that, all I know is my life was so enjoyable that time. My brother and me have been a good buddy to each other although I was always under his command. I never seen mud is dirty or and never buffalo, cow and goat are stink. They were more like friends to me sometime with the amount of time that I spent with them. Confined with that world where I always being occupied with my daily routine, I have never thought of having better life other than that time because life was filled with so much fun to me.
Every morning from Monday to Friday I woke up...take a bath with very cold water from the well dug by father. Then walked to school located about 5km from my house when the path was not even fully visible yet. My breakfast normally was cup of coffee and plain rice mixed with scramble egg. Sometime my mom fried some banana of anything that was easily planted surrounding the house. My father left for work already when me and I started my journey to the school.
When I reached my class, normally very few have arrived. Slowly the environment becomes noisy when more students coming. I can see others sent by their parent to school and some of them also walking like I did. Some sent by motorbike or kapcai mostly and very few sent by car. I did not bother so much about that because there were so many things that I enjoyed so much at school for my primary level. All I felt that time; I enjoyed learning new things everyday in the class.
My teachers often asked me about my ambitions. What I’m going to be in the future and to be honest I never like that questions. How am suppose to know what I'm going to be. They are the one who should tell me because the are my teachers. From there I heard my friends answered my thing such as doctor. I also heard they mentioned lawyer, architect, engineers and etc but all that sound so alien to me since I did not have a idea about them at all. I was more touched when they mentioned doctor because I was always treated by them, soldier because many of my relatives joined the army and surely policeman, fireman and etc because I've been seen them at work. At that time I did not even know exactly what was my father's job because I just knew that he worked in a rubber processing factory....
My uncle's words just could not disappear from my mind but I did not know why it really annoyed me especially my father never had never shown his reaction to it. What I knew since I understood people's conversation, the way my uncle talked about me and my siblings remained the same. I understood that when he never really talked to us like he talked to my cousins. What really pissed me off was when he gave the duit raya, we always given less by him and sometime. None as compared to my cousins who lived with their family at my grandma's house.
I heard he said once that all of my siblings would end up jaga lembu dan kerbau in the village later.
As I grew up, that words sound harsher to me as I become more understand about life and have started to feel annoyed by that. At one point my uncle even make jokes that my father don't have to send his children to school if he could not afford because it would not make any difference. He added my father don't have to work so hard just to see his children living in the village in the end. He always said my cousins surely will be someone one day and that was why he gave them more attention.
I was so puzzled why my father never responded to my uncle. He just kept saying to us " korang semua kalau nak senang, belajarlah rajin-rajin. Jangan dah besar nanti kena kerja susah-susah macam ayah". I knew why he said susah-susah like him. I saw him woke up very early in the morning and most of the time, when he came back, only my mom waited for him because all of us slept already. When I asked my mom what time my father came back, the answer normally around 2-3 a.m in the morning. I keep wondering how many hours he really slept everyday that time. He left home about 5 almost 7 days a week and I never heard him mentioned the word tired in front of us.
I was also wondering why my uncle always saying those words towards my family especially my father when I also never see him help us. On top of that I never knew that my father has ever asked any help from him either.
My life goes on and I enjoyed very much most of it. After school hours I always rushed back home. If I were lucky that day, someone would give me a lift and dropped me at the bridge to enter my village named Kampong Agam. Then I'll walk straight eagerly because there were so much more tasks awaited me after that.
Normally I walked from school with few friends and all of them will reach their house earlier that me one after another. Then I continued walking with my brother with our school back full of books. It was hot walking under the sun everyday or we got wet when the shower come from the sky. My shirt will be wet by sweet anyway by the time we reached home.
I always heard people that passed us on our way going and coming back from school said this " kesian korang kena jalan jauh-jauh macam ni. Tak penat ke?"What as stupid question they keep asked us? Surely we were tired but what can we do then. We normally answered " takpa, dah biasa". Some of my teachers also always gave me the same remarks but it never meant anything to me.
Lunch has never been my concern that much as long I can eat something. I just grabbed whatever meal cooked by mom. All of them very tasty to me because I was a big eater when I was small but I was also the most skinny one among my siblings. Coming back from school will make me even more occupied. Once I finished my lunch, my brother and I must have something to do. It can me fishing, plucking fruits and eat then on the tree itself, playing gasing, kite, catching fish in the river using jala or our bare hands, hunting birds using lastik or just exploring the jungle surrounding the village. Actually there were many more than I just cannot list them here.... too many and all that always make me feel that I need more than 24 hours in a day.
I always feel that we have almost everything at the house for us to live happily with its surrounding...I remember we breed chicken, duck, sheep and few buffalo. Fishes were easily can be found for our own consumption at the village. We just need to go and get it. Every Friday or on any other day that my father was not working, some chicken or duck will be slaughtered for our meal. What I like the most is masak lemak cili padi prepared by my mom.
Lunch has never been my concern that much as long I can eat something. I just grabbed whatever meal cooked by mom. All of them very tasty to me because I was a big eater when I was small but I was also the most skinny one among my siblings. Coming back from school will make me even more occupied. Once I finished my lunch, my brother and I must have something to do. It can me fishing, plucking fruits and eat then on the tree itself, playing gasing, kite, catching fish in the river using jala or our bare hands, hunting birds using lastik or just exploring the jungle surrounding the village. Actually there were many more than I just cannot list them here.... too many and all that always make me feel that I need more than 24 hours in a day.
I always feel that we have almost everything at the house for us to live happily with its surrounding...I remember we breed chicken, duck, sheep and few buffalo. Fishes were easily can be found for our own consumption at the village. We just need to go and get it. Every Friday or on any other day that my father was not working, some chicken or duck will be slaughtered for our meal. What I like the most is masak lemak cili padi prepared by my mom.
When the villagers started to plant work on the paddy field, we have to take care of our few buffalo to ensure they would be in the paddy field. At about 10.00 a.m every morning, all the sheep and water buffaloo will be st free from the kandang somehow they just went to the areas other than the paddy field. In the evening all the owners of will gather and together we went and find them, then get them back home. Normally there will be me and brother was the only children joined them since my father was at work. All our fellow villagers mostly working on their own as rubber tapers or other jobs in the village. My father was among a few of them who earned a monthly salary.
I just could not understand why my uncle was so dislike us. I kept asking myself what was so wrong about our life that really annoyed him. We just had a normal life (at least to me) at the village. There were some difficult moment sometimes but as far as I remember, I grew up as a normal kid. Everyday we eat something to fill up stomach. Once in while we also ate special meals (in my definition that time) such as chicken. Doing all my daily routines that required me to deal with jungles, rivers and animals had never been difficult to me. In fact, I enjoyed all of that so much as they have become some kind of entertainment to me.
That time I was told that my uncle studied up to certain level (I don't remember what level was that). Then he managed to get pretty good job and worked in Kuala Lumpur. He got married and stayed in Kuala Lumpur as well. At the time, many people at my place considered him as a successful person and some called him a rich man since he drove a car every time he came back. When I started to recognize him as my uncle, I never like him and he never talked nicely to me either. What I knew was he keep insulting my father and his children with his words. When he came back, he only had chatted or smiles with my auntie and her husband. Sometime I saw him talked and laughed with my cousins. When I grew older I managed to start to think I don't really care whether he is my uncle or not anymore. From some point when I was a child I would my shake hand with him only when asked by my parent or my grandma. If possible I would try to avoid seeing him at all if I knew he is back in the village.
It was so early in the morning when suddenly I woke up. Did not know what time that was but I heard my father talking with my mom at the kitchen. Actually I was walking towards the kitchen to do to the toilet outside to pee. I stopped when I was about to reach the entrance to the kitchen when I heard my mom like crying while talking to my father.
I just could not understand why my uncle was so dislike us. I kept asking myself what was so wrong about our life that really annoyed him. We just had a normal life (at least to me) at the village. There were some difficult moment sometimes but as far as I remember, I grew up as a normal kid. Everyday we eat something to fill up stomach. Once in while we also ate special meals (in my definition that time) such as chicken. Doing all my daily routines that required me to deal with jungles, rivers and animals had never been difficult to me. In fact, I enjoyed all of that so much as they have become some kind of entertainment to me.
That time I was told that my uncle studied up to certain level (I don't remember what level was that). Then he managed to get pretty good job and worked in Kuala Lumpur. He got married and stayed in Kuala Lumpur as well. At the time, many people at my place considered him as a successful person and some called him a rich man since he drove a car every time he came back. When I started to recognize him as my uncle, I never like him and he never talked nicely to me either. What I knew was he keep insulting my father and his children with his words. When he came back, he only had chatted or smiles with my auntie and her husband. Sometime I saw him talked and laughed with my cousins. When I grew older I managed to start to think I don't really care whether he is my uncle or not anymore. From some point when I was a child I would my shake hand with him only when asked by my parent or my grandma. If possible I would try to avoid seeing him at all if I knew he is back in the village.
It was so early in the morning when suddenly I woke up. Did not know what time that was but I heard my father talking with my mom at the kitchen. Actually I was walking towards the kitchen to do to the toilet outside to pee. I stopped when I was about to reach the entrance to the kitchen when I heard my mom like crying while talking to my father.
What I heard was something like " Apa kita nak makan kalau dah tak boleh lagi nak kerja kat kilang tu. Macam mana ni bang". Her voice was so soft but the sign of crying sound so obvious to my ears. Then I heard my father replied " Boleh motong kat mana ladang getah yang ada. Nanti abang tanyalah orang, buat sementara je dulu". "Kat sekarang ni musim hujan, nak motong macam mana. Budak-budak sekolah lagi?" my mom replied.
Then I heard nothing and I heard after that silent moment my father opened the door and left with his kapcai. Only then I stepped in the kitchen and caught my mom still in tears while cleaning the dishes. I saw her was about to prepare our breakfast for that day. I could not remember what was my age really that time. May be when I was in standard four. towards the end of it.
I did not ask my mom anything about what I heard but I felt that time there must have been something to happen to the family soon if what I heard was true. Somehow by the time I started my normal day, slowly I forgot about it at all. I continued my life as always. School and my normal household chores that asked me to do other than my village lifestyle outside my house. I was not sure whether my brother had any idea about what I felt and heard or not but after about a week after that, my mom did give some hint to us especially to my brother and me.
I did not ask my mom anything about what I heard but I felt that time there must have been something to happen to the family soon if what I heard was true. Somehow by the time I started my normal day, slowly I forgot about it at all. I continued my life as always. School and my normal household chores that asked me to do other than my village lifestyle outside my house. I was not sure whether my brother had any idea about what I felt and heard or not but after about a week after that, my mom did give some hint to us especially to my brother and me.
It happened when the amount of money given to us for school was reduced from 30 cents to 10 cents but mom prepared us some rice with scrambled egg or fried fish (we caught it ourselves) packed with banana leaf. He said that would be enough for us since she has less money to give. My brother took it in protest and asked mom many times on why less money given to us. Mom did not answer that but I can see that she was so sad in controlling her emotion in front of us. I just grabbed my brother to start our walk to school but I did not know why I did that although my brother would continue complaining throughout the walk to the school. May be that time I knew my brother did not know about it because only me heard the conversation between mom and my father that morning.
It was not long after that when suddenly may father was waiting for us when we stepped onto the ground to start our daily walk to school. He told us that he will drop us at the school on is way to the rubber plantation about few miles away. We did not ask much since we were too happy because we did not have to walk to school anymore although I could not recalled that for how long. That lasted for about 4 or 5 months and my father was recalled to work back at the rubber factory. Later my father told us at last that the factory had to cease its operation temporarily because no works can be performed due to no demand.
I saw my father worked very hard everyday to meet our basic daily needs. To buy rice, salt, sugar and other ingredient that could not be obtained other than buying it. On top of that to pay water and electricity bills and also our 30 cents (by that time has become 10 cents) pocket money at school. I never heard the word tired from his mouth. All I can see everyday about him was all about working for his family.
My father would never disappoint us if we really need something for our study. He always tried very hard to get it although whenever I requested, very rare for me to get immediately but I knew he will get it. I just need to wait.
Knowing how difficult for me even to get one pencil or eraser, I tend to become more careful and always tried to save it as much possible to ensure it can last longer. Almost on all opening days at school every year, I was one of those who did not get all the books ready. My teachers understood me very well and they did not push me so hard on that. I used whatever book I had that time and sometime I used books from the previous year, which still have some empty pages until my father gave me money to buy new books. There were moments I felt a little bit embarrassed with others in my class but that feeling slowly vanished by itself. I felt better every time I got praises from my teachers due to my fairly good performance in my class in every monthly test. At that time I did not really care or feel good when some friends called me budak pandai because I did not what they meant. All I knew was, I came into the class everyday and do whatever asked by my teachers. Since my father and my mom always advised us not to disobey teachers, I just followed that. Other than that I also had my fun time playing with others at school.
My Father
My father named Abdul Wahab and also called Dollah in my village. Finished his school until standard 3 only (if I'm not mistaken). One funny story that told by his late mother to me was he liked to climb the petai tree and stay up there instead of going to school and almost all other fellow villagers knew about that. In the morning he left the house with his school uniform but he did not make it to the school. After school hours he will be back at home just like others who returned from school. Until today. I do not know why he did that and I have never asked either. It made me not surprise at all when I saw my father climbing petai tree so well when anyone requested him to pluck some petai in its season. I could see him move around up there like his own playground. Normally we will get some portion of it and sold some of our portion to others.
My father does not talk that much as most of his characters shown by the way he does his works. He does not explain to us why he did something but as usual, whatever he did, I know that it has been always for the family. He did not tell us what are the values that we suppose to learn and leave it to us to do it if we want to do what we think is right for us. He would not stop us unless he feels it would be dangerous or he think is not worth it for us to do it. For example, he let us to go for fishing wherever we want but we would get scolded if we did not return home before the sun disappeared.
There were few things that I realized long time ago about what can make my father very angry with us and on top of the list was our attendance at school. He never compromise on that and only he can decide when his children cannot go to school. As far as I can remember, the only reason that we were allowed to be absent was when any of us get sick but only after he said so. To me it was never be an issue to me because I enjoyed so much my time at school.
I was told that my father started working at his teen age. Once he worked in a sawmill at nearby small town called Kota but it was not long. Then he moved at the rubber-processing factory as a machine operator. After few years working there, his boss slowly gave him bigger roles and he was asked to take care of the maintenance as well. The position that he held when I started my primary school was a machine technician or normally called in a Malay term as pomen.
I did not know that much what kind of works as a pomen all about until one day my father brought to me to his work place. At that time I was about 8 years old when he told me that he has to go back to work later that night once he arrived at home. He asked my brother to join as well but he was not interested. So, I accompanied my father to work that day and I was so excited about it.
It was about 1.00 a.m in the morning when my father woke me up and then we went to the factory by his kapcai. He just raised his hand to the security when we reached the main gate, then slowly the gate opened automatically and that really amazed me. We entered the factory compound and my eyes keep looking around and it was totally made me lost my words when we slowly moved into the building until my father stopped. He asked me to get down and wait at the bike while he went to change his clothes. He said he need to do some repairs works and surely things will get dirty with oil and dust.
When we entered the factory, I saw the building inside was so huge. It really surprised me a lot me because from outside, I could not see that because of the concrete wall. The roof is so high and long and I could not even see the other end of the roof from the route from the main gate to the building.
The moment I was under the roof of the building, I saw many machinery from the main door. So, that was how all the rubber processing machine look like. There was no one other than security guards and us that night because the main machine was faulty and that was why my father has to come that night. That was what I heard when my father answered the guard when we entered the factory.
The entire machine in the factory is so huge. I was standing at one of them and I can see all the big gears, long conveyors, and many more parts that I did not know the name connected to each other. My father told me that that is the machine, which produce SMR rubber and most of it exported to oversea markets.
When my father came back from changing his shirt, he asked to stay at one place and don't play around or touch anything since it would be dangerous. He prepared me at mat (made from rubber) in black color and asked me to sit or sleep there if I am boring because he did not know how long it can finish the repair works.
Armed with the tools that he brought in trolley from the store, my father started his work. Slowly he started to open one part after another. In between he carried out few testing by trying to installed parts until it can be fixed to each other. I asked my father what exactly he was doing and while doing his works, he replied that that machine has been very old and some parts need to be changed. Earlier during the daytime while people were working, one of the machine, which is the core, one stopped due to the worn part. Since the back -up machine was not working as well, he has to repair that machine as well as the spare parts arrived that day. My father did all the works alone and he looks so familiar with all part of the machine. I just could not sleep and keep-asking questions to my father about what he was doing that time. The answers amazed me because my father explained to me quite details about the machine and I so keen to hear more from him.
I asked my father again and again how he knew what to do and who taught him that. I was so amazed when he can easily find the smallest screw to the big one and fixed them at the right place. I saw from the beginning how my father dismantled the huge machine comprising of big gears, its shafts, holders and many more, then slowly did the replacement and adjustment until the machine can run when he pressed the start button. I was wondering how could he do all that, how he identified the problem of that machine and most importantly how he knew how to carry out the repair itself. When I asked him all that, he did really give me the exact answer. In simple he just said he looked and the learned by himself.
I asked him again who else doing the same kind of works with him at that factory and he said only him but there was one assistant who helped him sometime. On normal cases he did everything alone. He added, there was one Chinese guy who is more senior used to be with him but when he left, suddenly the boss asked my father to take over everything. It was difficult from the beginning especially because my father had to know many parts and machine which names in English. Furthermore my father was "blind" in English and could not even read and write properly in Malay as well.
I was very amazed with my father that night. The way he performed his works was something that I had never imagine that he could do it. Everything looks so easy for him with the level of education that he got which is not even finished the primary school level. I saw him did the works with very much interest because it was so stunning when my father dismantled that very complicated machinery (in my view) which so huge to me part by part and then putting it back together.
It was not long after that when suddenly may father was waiting for us when we stepped onto the ground to start our daily walk to school. He told us that he will drop us at the school on is way to the rubber plantation about few miles away. We did not ask much since we were too happy because we did not have to walk to school anymore although I could not recalled that for how long. That lasted for about 4 or 5 months and my father was recalled to work back at the rubber factory. Later my father told us at last that the factory had to cease its operation temporarily because no works can be performed due to no demand.
I saw my father worked very hard everyday to meet our basic daily needs. To buy rice, salt, sugar and other ingredient that could not be obtained other than buying it. On top of that to pay water and electricity bills and also our 30 cents (by that time has become 10 cents) pocket money at school. I never heard the word tired from his mouth. All I can see everyday about him was all about working for his family.
My father would never disappoint us if we really need something for our study. He always tried very hard to get it although whenever I requested, very rare for me to get immediately but I knew he will get it. I just need to wait.
Knowing how difficult for me even to get one pencil or eraser, I tend to become more careful and always tried to save it as much possible to ensure it can last longer. Almost on all opening days at school every year, I was one of those who did not get all the books ready. My teachers understood me very well and they did not push me so hard on that. I used whatever book I had that time and sometime I used books from the previous year, which still have some empty pages until my father gave me money to buy new books. There were moments I felt a little bit embarrassed with others in my class but that feeling slowly vanished by itself. I felt better every time I got praises from my teachers due to my fairly good performance in my class in every monthly test. At that time I did not really care or feel good when some friends called me budak pandai because I did not what they meant. All I knew was, I came into the class everyday and do whatever asked by my teachers. Since my father and my mom always advised us not to disobey teachers, I just followed that. Other than that I also had my fun time playing with others at school.
My Father
My father named Abdul Wahab and also called Dollah in my village. Finished his school until standard 3 only (if I'm not mistaken). One funny story that told by his late mother to me was he liked to climb the petai tree and stay up there instead of going to school and almost all other fellow villagers knew about that. In the morning he left the house with his school uniform but he did not make it to the school. After school hours he will be back at home just like others who returned from school. Until today. I do not know why he did that and I have never asked either. It made me not surprise at all when I saw my father climbing petai tree so well when anyone requested him to pluck some petai in its season. I could see him move around up there like his own playground. Normally we will get some portion of it and sold some of our portion to others.
My father does not talk that much as most of his characters shown by the way he does his works. He does not explain to us why he did something but as usual, whatever he did, I know that it has been always for the family. He did not tell us what are the values that we suppose to learn and leave it to us to do it if we want to do what we think is right for us. He would not stop us unless he feels it would be dangerous or he think is not worth it for us to do it. For example, he let us to go for fishing wherever we want but we would get scolded if we did not return home before the sun disappeared.
There were few things that I realized long time ago about what can make my father very angry with us and on top of the list was our attendance at school. He never compromise on that and only he can decide when his children cannot go to school. As far as I can remember, the only reason that we were allowed to be absent was when any of us get sick but only after he said so. To me it was never be an issue to me because I enjoyed so much my time at school.
I was told that my father started working at his teen age. Once he worked in a sawmill at nearby small town called Kota but it was not long. Then he moved at the rubber-processing factory as a machine operator. After few years working there, his boss slowly gave him bigger roles and he was asked to take care of the maintenance as well. The position that he held when I started my primary school was a machine technician or normally called in a Malay term as pomen.
I did not know that much what kind of works as a pomen all about until one day my father brought to me to his work place. At that time I was about 8 years old when he told me that he has to go back to work later that night once he arrived at home. He asked my brother to join as well but he was not interested. So, I accompanied my father to work that day and I was so excited about it.
It was about 1.00 a.m in the morning when my father woke me up and then we went to the factory by his kapcai. He just raised his hand to the security when we reached the main gate, then slowly the gate opened automatically and that really amazed me. We entered the factory compound and my eyes keep looking around and it was totally made me lost my words when we slowly moved into the building until my father stopped. He asked me to get down and wait at the bike while he went to change his clothes. He said he need to do some repairs works and surely things will get dirty with oil and dust.
When we entered the factory, I saw the building inside was so huge. It really surprised me a lot me because from outside, I could not see that because of the concrete wall. The roof is so high and long and I could not even see the other end of the roof from the route from the main gate to the building.
The moment I was under the roof of the building, I saw many machinery from the main door. So, that was how all the rubber processing machine look like. There was no one other than security guards and us that night because the main machine was faulty and that was why my father has to come that night. That was what I heard when my father answered the guard when we entered the factory.
The entire machine in the factory is so huge. I was standing at one of them and I can see all the big gears, long conveyors, and many more parts that I did not know the name connected to each other. My father told me that that is the machine, which produce SMR rubber and most of it exported to oversea markets.
When my father came back from changing his shirt, he asked to stay at one place and don't play around or touch anything since it would be dangerous. He prepared me at mat (made from rubber) in black color and asked me to sit or sleep there if I am boring because he did not know how long it can finish the repair works.
Armed with the tools that he brought in trolley from the store, my father started his work. Slowly he started to open one part after another. In between he carried out few testing by trying to installed parts until it can be fixed to each other. I asked my father what exactly he was doing and while doing his works, he replied that that machine has been very old and some parts need to be changed. Earlier during the daytime while people were working, one of the machine, which is the core, one stopped due to the worn part. Since the back -up machine was not working as well, he has to repair that machine as well as the spare parts arrived that day. My father did all the works alone and he looks so familiar with all part of the machine. I just could not sleep and keep-asking questions to my father about what he was doing that time. The answers amazed me because my father explained to me quite details about the machine and I so keen to hear more from him.
I asked my father again and again how he knew what to do and who taught him that. I was so amazed when he can easily find the smallest screw to the big one and fixed them at the right place. I saw from the beginning how my father dismantled the huge machine comprising of big gears, its shafts, holders and many more, then slowly did the replacement and adjustment until the machine can run when he pressed the start button. I was wondering how could he do all that, how he identified the problem of that machine and most importantly how he knew how to carry out the repair itself. When I asked him all that, he did really give me the exact answer. In simple he just said he looked and the learned by himself.
I asked him again who else doing the same kind of works with him at that factory and he said only him but there was one assistant who helped him sometime. On normal cases he did everything alone. He added, there was one Chinese guy who is more senior used to be with him but when he left, suddenly the boss asked my father to take over everything. It was difficult from the beginning especially because my father had to know many parts and machine which names in English. Furthermore my father was "blind" in English and could not even read and write properly in Malay as well.
I was very amazed with my father that night. The way he performed his works was something that I had never imagine that he could do it. Everything looks so easy for him with the level of education that he got which is not even finished the primary school level. I saw him did the works with very much interest because it was so stunning when my father dismantled that very complicated machinery (in my view) which so huge to me part by part and then putting it back together.
It was very long hours that night but I did not feel sleepy at all because I enjoyed seeing my father did his works so much. On top of that, he talked to me a lot when answering all my curiosity related to when he we was doing. My father also seem very keen to explain to me in details one after another on what exactly he was doing with all parts of that machine.
It was a night to remember and that was one of the main reason why I become so curious about that has led me to ignore my father’s dream to see become a doctor and to be an engineer instead.
Nothing or no one can deny that and until today I still owe him because that night gave me something really big in my life although he has never realized that. Along the way I have managed to prove to myself that if we have something great or dreams to achieve, that is for us to get it.
It is only depending on how much we need it and how far we are willing to do to get it. I still remember each word that my uncle uttered towards me but all that has never stopped me and today I’ve never felt that I have anything to fear now.
Being an engineer to start my career was a dream come true for me, as I’ve gone through so much to get it. Something that I realize now is in life, sometime it is doesn’t matter where we came from or how we started because what really matter is what we have achieve today and how me progress from there for better future.
I owe you father and I really can’t pay for what you and mother have done for me. You’ll remain as my idol throughout my life with your commitment and they way you brought me up. I’m honored to be your son and only death will stop me from taking care of you. I’ll never forget to be grateful to Allah to be a son for both of you..Ayah and Mak.
