Feeling so low...

Feeling so low in my life in the last few days until today. Don't know how long it will last this time around and it looks like that I don't want the feeling to stop. Sometime, it might be better if I just let my feeling to take its space in me...it came uninvited and let it go by itself. I don't feel like to go against it.
I'm not the one who likes to entertain this type of negative feelings to have any sort of control in my day or any part of my life but this time I feel very much different.
Knowing this will give some impact in everything else that I do...I don't feel having the strength to fight my frustration, anger and all kind of similar feelings at this moment.
Why???? I don't have the courage to say it even to myself but deep in me...I feel it so much! It make me feel useless and all what I did have no meaning at all. Feeling myself so bad although I know that I am not too good anyway. I'm just a normal person, a man, a husband, a father, a son and a father with a normal desire to do the best in his life.
what the hell I'm writing here?!!!
Yeahhhh! My brain is in a mess now...hope?!!! better let it be like this for a while...I just want to let the natural "evil" feeling enjoying its moment now...who will pay?!!! I believe people deserve what they deserve...So do I!

"Giving Back"....

Date: 9 May 2009, Saturday
Venue: Dewan Melur, Tekam Plantation Resort, Jerantut, Pahang
Program: Kursus Pemantapan Komunikasi Korporat untuk AJK Pelaksanaan Pesta Konvokesyen ke-37, UKM
Organized by: Bahagian Pengembangan Pelajar , UKM
Slots: 9.30 a.m-11.30 a.m - Komunikasi Korporat
11.45-1.00 p.m - Teknik Pemasaran Projek





It was another enjoyable moment for me over the weekend. Actually I was quiet tired after a long journey back from Kulim Kedah. I spent the whole night on Thursday, 7 May 2009 preparing the presentaion slides for the event. I already have the materials available since the event was scheduled initially on April but postponed to 9 May 2009 at the new venue. I just need to prepare the MS Power Point Presentation.

This time around, my wife and kids were able to joined me since it was on weekend. I guess they had a great time as well the resort-type accommodation provided is completed with other facilities such as swimming pool for children.

The program was organized by the Student Development Divisioon of UKM and I was invited to give talks for two 2-hour slots. Topics given were corporate communication and project marketing. The topic sound so huge for me who is not really in that fields as my career but they just need inputs from students' perspective when they want to market their projects. This particular group is for the 37th UKM's Convocation which is an annual event. Am I the right person for that?..I believe I am due to my extensive hands on experiences in "mega" projects such as UKM's Career Day and National Workshops for Secondary School Students at UKM when I was a student and my working years selling engineering services as a consultant.

I was recommended to UKM for this event by one of my old friends who works in UKM and worked together with me when we were students.

To be honest, coming back to UKM or to meet up with people from UKM has been always interesting to me. Coming back to share my thoughts, experiences and knowledge has made my returns more meaningful to me. It so so exciting to see the students are eager to learn from what I share with them everytime I am involved in this kind of sessions.
As I always said to myself and my wife....may be this one of many ways where I can do good things to others and the same time "giving back" to an institution where I've gained so much as a person.














It is very difficult how to explain why I keep continue doing this especially when I am in a very tight schedule with my works and commitment with my family. I have never seen that as burdens to me and keep doing it has given me so much personal satisfaction and new experiences. One of the best thing can happen is I can enhance my personal skills especially in public speaking and presentation which will definitely giving positive impacts in my actual works.
Looking at their eyes listening and participating throughout my presentation will remain as another sweet memories when I shared many things with them.
I had a great time over there and I hope my audience has managed to learn and gain some good things from my presentation

I wish I can do this again and keep my desire burning to keep "giving back" to the people especially in UKM like the participants in this program. It has been my believe that I can only get more knowledge when I share my knowledge with others no matter who they are.

I wish them all the best in their project and also in their life as students.

On the other side...my family is enjoying their time at the resort. My kids were having so much fun especially at the swimming pool of the resort. I guess everyone having a good time over the weekend...see it and you'll believe it!


At least another quality time I managed to spend with them and in the same time doing what I like to do.

Some of my friends did tell me that I should start to make it more commercial since I have the capability to present my knowledge and experiences which I am good at...it means it will start to become services that I can offer at reasonable fees....yes they are right and I should consider that...may be later in the future as long as I can continue doing it ...with satisfaction that I can feel in me.